Italy's Gone Wild
by Maximilliminute
Summary: How many Italies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: Just one. Prussia taught him well.   Sorry for the tense errors. I'm too busy to fix. Blame Hunger Games.
1. Chapter 1

Hetalia

Italy's gone wild

A fanfiction

_M: So…this is my first fanfic. Please do not laugh at or ridicule me enough to break my heart. Also, please excuse me if I used their country names instead of their real names. _

Chapter One: Goodbye, Wurst

"Alright Italy, we've practiced this a million times. Try again," Germany said. It was about eight thirty on a Monday morning and Germany was teaching Italy how to throw a hand grenade…again.

"Aye, aye, cap'n!" Italy said with a salute. He manages to remove the pin successfully without throwing it and immediately gets rid of the hand grenade. Unfortunately it lands under Germany's feet.

Germany grabs a clipboard and started taking notes. "Better, Italy," he said. He suddenly looked up from writing and looks around. "But where did it go?"

"Um…c-captain?"

And you can just imagine what happened after.

A few days later, Italy is outside a hospital room, sitting on a bench. Japan comes from inside the room and sits next to him.

"How is he, Japan?" Italy asked.

Japan frowned slightly. "Well, I can't say he's alright because he's wrecked, but…" His voice trailed off.

Italy decided to cut him off. "Is he still mad? I said I was sorry."

"He was saying something but I couldn't understand him because of his full body cast."

Italy looked up at Japan and said, "So…does that mean he could train me again tomorrow?"

Japan tried to avoid Italy's gaze. He didn't know how to tell Italy that he needed to find a new teacher. If not because of his injury, Germany would probably be furious at Italy for his epic failure. Poor useless Italy…

"Italy, I think you should find another person to train you for a couple of days," he finally manages to say.

"But Germany…"

"Germany needs rest. Go find someone else, okay?"

Italy looked down, then bolted up again. "Will _you_ teach me, Japan?" he asked hopefully.

Japan struggled to find an excuse. "Uh…I would, but I, um, can't because…I-I have…things to do. Bye," he says before dashing off. He wouldn't want to be in the place of Germany. I don't think anyone would have.

So Italy was alone again. Disappointed, he heads home and tries to seek advice from his brother, Romano. But knowing him, he wouldn't help much.

"Ha! So the potato freak is in the hospital!" Romano exclaims in delight after Italy tells him the story. "My hard work paid off after all."

"Um…actually, it was my fault," Italy protests.

"Whatever," Romano says, ignoring Italy. "This is great!"

"No, it's not! Now no one is going to train me!"

Romano sighs and decides to tell Italy what he really thought. "Look, I think it's for the best that you stop hanging out with that guy so he can stop inflicting German influences on you. Now we can get rid of all the wurst in the fridge and put more tomatoes and pasta in," he says trying to make it sound more pleasing in Italy's point of view.

The thought of pasta did make Italy drool in his mind, but today, pasta wasn't the most important thing in the world, which was shocking. "We can't get rid of the wurst!"

Romano ignored him. "Too bad. It's going in the dump."

He took out all the wurst he could find in their refrigerator while Italy is at his feet, begging him not to carry out his insane plan.

But it was too late.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Italy Does the Unthinkable

The next day, Italy is at the training ground reciting the daily ceremonies that used to go on there.

"Numbers! One, Two!" he yells, trying to follow Germany's voice. But it didn't fill the void. Nothing could.

Suddenly Italy becomes too upset and decides to run all the way to France in the Allied Headquarters.

"FRRAAAAAAAANCCCEEEE!" he cries as he runs there.

"What the hell are you doing here, Italy?" France cries, surprised.

Italy was sniffling. "What should I do? I blew up Germany and now there's no one to train me and yell at me!"

"You what?"

At that moment, England was all the way upstairs doing his embroidery. But at the mention of Germany being blown up, he shows up downstairs in half a second.

"Did I hear right? The Kraut was blown up? This is the perfect opportunity," he said. Then, he looked over at France. "France, let's-" He was about to tell him to attack Germany with him, but he seemed to busy comforting Italy.

England frowned. "There you go again. Is there something about you and Italy I don't know about?" he asked, only to get no reply. He grows tired of it. "Oh, for the love of Pete. If I help Italy with this "dilemma", then will you attack with me?"

France finally notices him. "Huh? Oh, sure."

England nods and approaches Italy. "Okay, what's wrong, Italy?"

A few minutes later, England, Italy and France arrive at the Axis Training Ground. "Numbers!" England shouts to Italy.

Italy just mutters, "It used to be better when Germany did it."

England becomes irritated. "Just shut up and say your number, darn it!" he yells.

"England!" France protests.

England growls angrily and sighs. He walks over to Italy and says, "Hey, Italy, don't you think you better take this lesson of ours seriously? So that when Germany comes back, he'll be proud of your big improvements and maybe he won't get mad at you anymore?"

Italy becomes hopeful. "You're right! I'll do it for Germany!" he says.

"Alright! Numbers!"

A few hours of training with England and Italy became exhausted. He failed every single task England told him to do. His training was much stricter and much more difficult than that of Germany's.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" England complains, shaking his head. "I could do these exercises in my sleep."

Italy just sits miserably on the floor.

England continues to shake his head. "I can't live with such an amateur soldier. Come back when you're ready!"

Italy tries to catch up to England who was making a dramatic exit. "W-wait! Who'll teach me when I'm not ready?"

"I don't know! Go to someone crazy like…Prussia or…a hobo. Everyone knows the basics," he said, not turning around.

As England continues to exit, Italy gets an idea.

It is now ten fifty in the evening and England is asleep in his room with his UK pillow. The phone on his desk suddenly rings. He stands up shakily and answers the phone with no enthusiasm. There was even anger.

"Hello?" he says into the phone.

"England!" It was Italy. His voice was so loud that England snapped out of his sleepy state and had to cover his ears. "I tried to get a hobo to teach me, but he didn't want to! And then he stole my pasta!"

England becomes irritated and screams, "You idiot! I was only joking! And why are you calling me anyway? I don't care for your personal problems! Good night!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Italy's Other Bright Idea

Seeing as his hobo idea didn't work, he decides to have on of Jimmy Neutron's brain blasts.

"Think…Think…" he says to himself, concentrating deeply.

Images of the previous day flooded back in his head. It was mostly England saying things like: "Remember, running naked is illegal in many countries." or "Lift with your legs! Your weak and tiny legs!" or "Why don't we take a break?" or "Go to someone crazy like…Prussia or…a hobo!"

Italy snaps. "I've got it! Oh…wait," he says. "A hobo didn't work."

Suddenly, an irritated Bulgaria jumps in his room and smacks him on the head, hard.

"You twat! Just go to Prussia already!" he says.

"Wah!" Italy cries, but ponders on his suggestion.

The next morning, Italy arrives at the front door of Prussia's enormous house. He knocks at the wooden front door. He hears footsteps and suddenly, Prussia opens a small window by the door. "Who is it?" he asks.

"Um! G-g-g-good morn-n-ning…I-Italy here!" he stammers in front of an impatient Prussia.

"Italy?" he repeats. "Aren't you a friend of Austria?"

"Yes! Yes I am!" Italy says proudly.

"Then I should beat you up."

Italy panics. "Wah! I'll do anything, just don't hit me! I'll do anything! I just came here to become a good soldier! I'm just a silly boy who loves pizza and pasta! I'm too young to die!"

As Italy continues to cry, Prussia contemplates what he just said. Finally, he opens the door and says, "You want to become a good soldier, huh? Well, come in then."

They move inside Prussia's living room and sit. Prussia gets down to business. "Alright. The first thing I want you to do is sing your theme," he says.

"That's easy!" Italy says. He clears his throat and begins to sing. " Nee, nee, mama, wain choudai, nee, nee, mama, nee- "

Prussia stops him. "You're singing it all wrong. You should make it faster, otherwise, people will fall asleep. Do it more like…"

Prussia then sings the theme in his way. (If you haven't heard it, you MUST. It's epic.)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: That Can't Be Italy

"Where do you think Italy went off to?" Japan asks a now-healed Germany, while they were sitting on the white sand of the beach beside a campfire.

"Who knows," Germany replies feeling awkward. They were at the campfire, like before, except now there was no sleeping Italy. And what is a campfire at the beach without a sleeping Italy?

After a few minutes of silence, they get the sense that the Allies have arrived. They suddenly hear America's crazed laugh, and his voice saying, "I choose you, China!"

China leaps into action. His pan in hand, he immediately charges for the recently hospitalized Germany. He wasn't really supposed to be doing tiresome activities yet, but he had no choice and he fights back.

"You sure have a lot of fighting confidence for a guy who was blown up," China says. Germany ignores this snooty remark and concentrates on blowing China's brain out.

Just as China was about to hit Germany's head, a fast gush of wind blew past both of them. China looks around. "What was that?" he asks. The force spins circles around China and manages to conk him on the noggin.

"Someone hit China?" Russia cries, surprised, as China collapses on the floor.

"What a force!" France says. "I wonder who it is?"

"It's me," The voice says. Suddenly, the whirling stops and you could see that it was Italy, aided by Prussia. Or at least that's what It looked like. Italy's eyes had grown inexplicably red.

"Thanks for the help, but I can take it from here," Italy tells Prussia.

"Sure thing," Prussia replies and disappears.

Among all, England is the most shocked. "H-he actually took lessons from Prussia?" he cries in horror.

"Who told him he should do that?" China asks, getting up.

England gulps. He knows it was him who told him to do that. But he just gives a shaky shrug, saying, "I don't see how that matters."

Germany and Japan are shocked as well. "Italy?" they stutter.

The new and improved Italy faces them and says, "Glad to see you're okay, Germany. Now let's get it on!"

After a few seconds, Italy beat up every allied force without anyone's help. All were awed, especially Germany.

Just to prove how good he was, Italy looked straight at Germany and successfully threw a hand grenade at his victims! BOOM!

"Italy has gone through much improvement," Japan says to Germany who is too stunned to speak.

"Well? Haven't I improved, Germany? Captain Prussia taught me all these things. He even taught me how to sing my theme better," Italy brags.

A guitar appears in his hands and a band appears behind him. He then sings his theme which is now slightly similar to Prussia's.

Germany and Japan just stared in shock. The Allies got up and started to listen too.

"Hey, that sounds kinda cool!" America says to his teammates.

"Shut up!" England commands.

"Maybe we should get lessons from Prussia sometime, too," France suggests.

"No way! That guy is scary!" China says.

Russia remains silent, but starts to kol.

The following day, the Axis special training was resumed, but Italy wanted to do things differently.

Japan takes his original place next to Italy, but Italy commands him to stay beside Germany.

"Why do I have to stay beside you?" Japan asks Germany. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, but…never mind."

"Italy said he wanted to take charge today," Germany says.

Italy pounds a stick on the ground to get everyone's attention. "Silence! Training will now begin. Numbers!"

"One."

"Two."

"Alright. Today, we will have a run around the entire neighborhood. We start and end at this exact spot. Got it?" Italy says. "Ready, set, GO!"

They all start running, but something is wrong. Italy is too fast! Japan and Germany get left behind, which gives them time to discuss the matters.

"Italy sure is different," Japan says, beginning the conversation.

"Yeah," Germany agrees. "If only there was some way to undo all Prussia's teachings and get him back to normal."

Japan snaps. "That's it! Deep down in that boastful clone of Prussia is still our Italy. We just need to get him out."

And that was plan A.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Italy's Gone Too Far!

Italy, angry that he was ditched at the training, decides to go over to Germany's house to give him a piece of his mind. He knocks angrily at the front door.

"Ah, Italy," Germany says, opening the door. "We've been waiting for you." He lets Italy in the house and leads him to the kitchen. Japan is there holding a platter of pasta in his apron.

"Italy! Want some food?" Japan asks.

Italy thinks. "Well, I am hungry from the run. Why?"

"I have the perfect thing." Japan reveals the pasta platter to Italy. It even had a pizza side dish. "Does it give back memories?" Japan then does a series of weird wiggling dances that Italy used to do. It was so bad that Germany and even Italy were disturbed.

"What the heck are you doing, Japan?" Italy questions.

"Join me, Italy," Japan says, and keeps dancing.

Germany feels awkward. "Okay, that's enough dancing, Japan."

"But Italy used to do this all the time," Japan says and keeps dancing. He even throws in a: "PASTAAAAAAA~!"

Italy gets insulted and gets the adrenaline rush. He starts to attack Japan and Japan is forced to defend himself with the katana. Just then, the Allies arrive and start to attack Italy, but Italy gets hyperactive and beats them all to a crisp. Even his own teammates!

Still in the rush, Italy says, "You're all conspiring against me!" Then he traps them in nets and brings them home.

He placed them in the same room so he can watch over all of them, but he put them in separate corners so no word would go by without him knowing it.

"Yo! Italy! How's it going?" Prussia screams through the door.

"Prussia!" Italy practically squeals. He opens the door and lets Prussia in. Prussia sees the mess Italy has made with his friends and enemies. "Whoa, what happened here?"

"They were all conspiring against me, so I took action," Italy says.

Meanwhile, the captured ones are signaling Prussia to take Italy out so they could talk to him without Italy going insane. Prussia knocks Italy out and places him on the couch. England spoke first.

"What the heck did you teach him that made him that way?" England demands.

"Well," Prussia says. "To be honest, I couldn't teach him at first. He was a handful. I don't know how you do it Germany. But then I made him watch Prussian documentaries and wild life documentaries and told him about ********** and *******. Finally, I injected his arm with adrenaline."

Everyone is shocked.

"Well, reverse it!" France says. "He's driving us nuts!"

Prussia shrugs and drags all of them to his house. He straps Italy to a chair, puts in an Italian Behavior DVD and flees the room.

The next day, Italy is lying on Prussia's bed while everyone stares at him.

"Wah!" he cries. "What's going on?"

Both the Axis and the Allies, with Prussia, cheer in delight. Italy is back!

Italy stares at them all. He sees Germany. "Germany!" he cries and attempts to give his friend a hug. He is rejected.

"We're all glad to have you back, Italy," Japan says, smiling. They all nod their heads.

"I hope you learned your lesson, Italy," England lectures. "No more taking lessons from anyone else. Germany is your teacher, got it?"

"Yes! But…you told me to take lessons from Prussia, England," Italy says.

Everyone stares angrily at England.

"Hahaha…why don't we all call it a day?" England says backing away slowly.

**~END~**


End file.
